Finding wellness when the world is falling apart

These are challenging times. We face new challenges in paying our bills, feeding and caring for our families and experiencing a sense of daily normalcy.

Even if we’re not unemployed or worried about starving or losing our homes, many of us feel out of sorts. Many of us feel saturated by uncertainty. We don’t know how large a toll COVID-19 will take on our society. We don’t know how close to home it will hit. Those of us who have not lost loved ones to the disease fear we might. Many of us find some reassurance in being younger than the age group that is most vulnerable to the disease, but we don’t take it as a guarantee of safety while every day more people are dying from the disease than the previous day.

We don’t know when our lives will return to what we remember as normal. When will our work return to normal? How long before it's OK to eat in an actual restaurant or meet a friend in a coffee shop? When will the quality of our human interactions no longer be entirely limited by our internet speed?

Our lives have gotten weird

We feel weird because our lives are now weird. Before the pandemic, we were already familiar with how technology separates us. Now, it has become so truer by many degrees. We used to have routines that we established over much of our lifetimes. The day started with getting up and getting ready to go somewhere. Then we'd do normal things like take kids to school, go to work, shake people’s hands, relax at the dog park, and buy whatever we need in the grocery store. We used to look at the news and see politicians arguing about a variety of things. 

My main goal of writing this is to communicate that what you feel is normal for a normal person to feel during weird times. Any grief is valid. Much of what we used to depend on and enjoy has vanished.

Any fear you feel is valid. While the mortality rate is low enough to suggest that you’ll survive even if you catch COVID-19, there’s enough uncertainty involved to unnerve us all. We don’t know when the rate of transmission in the United States will slow down. We may not feel confident in any guidelines for avoiding infection while experts and leaders seem to disagree on so much. Do masks help? Do I need a mask? Aren’t they sold out everywhere? Do washing my hands and wearing gloves at the gas station really help while the news is saying the disease is airborne?

Having a strong and positive psychological foundation keeps that overwhelm in check. 

My second goal is to assist you in feeling a little bit better.

Take a minute to re-focus

You feel out of it for legitimate reasons. Consider that any self-doubt or self-judgment right now is baseless and unnecessary.

Now, please take a deep breath. Sit up or stand up straight. Taller. Pull your shoulders down and back and take a deep breath and hold it. Hold it a little longer. Let it go. Relax just a little. 

Do it again. Inhale and hold it. Now squeeze your fists and tighten your arms. Now exhale and relax everything. 

Breathe again like that.

Now look around you and name five things that you see that you like. Name them out loud.

And think of someone you really appreciate. Your spouse? A friend? Think about what you appreciate about them. Notice feelings of gratitude.

And now, continue doing your best through these challenging times.