Doing good when "there is no right way"
I was thrilled to catch up over breakfast with a kindred spirit. It had been a while since we’d spoken in person. We agreed to meet at the First Watch restaurant in Cedar Park, but since we forgot to clarify which one, and I went to the one close to my house, and she went to the one close to her house, by the time we actually met up, our time was limited and a little rushed.
When she arrived, I stood up and we both awkwardly made like we were internally debating whether to hug or bump elbows, which became common since the beginning of the pandemic.
“It’s hard to know what’s the right thing to do,” she said.
“I don’t think there is a right way,” I said, initiating a side hug.
No "right way" to fix the world
This theme of what to do when “there is no right way” emerged again later during our get-together, this time on the topic of combating racism as white people, where there seem to be pitfalls whichever course of action one chooses. Quieting down and listening might not feel right when it feels like disengaging. Showing up to the discussion with openness and vulnerability can prompt aggressive criticism when you show your imperfections.
“Since someone will criticize you either way, you need to just do what you think is right.”
Do what you believe is right
There’s our answer for navigating challenging or confusing times. Conscious of what we believe is right, we step forward in that direction, open to the possibility that making a mistake while being true to ourselves is better for our lives than receiving short-term affirmation for ignoring our inner compasses for the sake of fitting in or following along.
Our sense of what’s right is reflected by our values. What’s important to us. What we stand for. When our actions reflect our values, we feel more like ourselves, more grounded, more at peace. When our actions conflict with our values, we feel that conflict within us. Easy tasks become hard. We self-sabotage and our motivation slows.
What matters most to you?
What is important to you? Connection? Compassion? Challenge? Developing yourself? Peace? Unity? Mindfulness? Health? Fun? Laughter? Play? New experiences? Truth? Justice?
Justice is an important pursuit right now, but you are still allowed to embrace other values.
Whatever your values, there’s the possibility that doing more to embrace one of your values consistently can make it easier for you to thrive during challenging times.
What is important to you, and what can you read while you’re stuck inside to promote that value? Are there activities you engaged in once upon a time that you can return to? What new activities might you endeavor to learn? What can you sign up for? Who can you connect with more closely or consistently?
It is your life that you are living. The messages you are receiving from the external world about what you must do might be very legitimate, but a responsible life that doesn’t beget regret is one that is lived consciously, and directed by one’s own heart.
