The feelings that you try to control…

Your ability to mindfully feel your emotions is your source of personal power. When you can't do that, then anything that triggers your emotions has power over you. But when you can allow your feelings to be present, you have the power to choose how you respond to the challenging situations that elicit your emotions.

Awareness of yourself and how you feel in the present moment enables you to function well and experience better mental health. It is a state of intimate and compassionate connection with who you are. It brings you into the present moment.

Feelings want to be felt.

The alternatives to feelings your feelings are distraction, repression or acting out. These are all strategies for protecting your conscious awareness from experiencing your emotions.

Acting out isn't great. Screaming and crashing your car when you're angry have obvious downsides. When you engage in any sort of attack, you reinforce your anger and can start feeling anxiety or fear because deep down you know that your attack may bring repercussions.

Distraction isn't always great. It takes you out of the present moment and often leads to habitual dependence on substances or activities or media.

Repression isn't great. Unresolved emotional experiences get trapped in your unconscious mind and in your body, creating feelings of disconnection and anxiety. Repressed feelings make you reactive and avoidant of situations that trigger you. When you are reacting to a trigger, you are living your life according to your repressed emotions, and not according to what you really want out of life.

Too much repressing, distracting or taking feelings out on things, will cause you to suffer more.

Feelings want to be felt. When you push your feelings away in order to avoid feeling them, there's a really good chance that they will rebound and force you to attend to them when it's really not a good time. Mindfully attending to your feelings when it is a good time creates a peaceful relationship where your feelings won't sneak up on you. When you allow them to peacefully accompany you, they become helpful and insightful passengers.

And when you allow yourself to be mindful of your feelings, they tend to change in ways that support your well-being and the direction of your life. Either they change, or your relationship with them changes. Either way, you suffer less.