Psychotherapy for Men: Accessibility and effectiveness

A MENtal Strength series article—click here for the articles home page.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a male psychotherapist who dismissed the value of therapists who specialize in men’s mental health. He argued that mental health modalities work equally for both men and women and that men rarely contact him for so-called "men's issues." While I believe his perspective is unfortunate, it raises critical questions: What is men’s mental health? and Is men’s mental health different from mental health for women?

This viewpoint also underscores a truth about the mental health field: many professionals remain unaware of how to make therapy both accessible and effective for men.

What Is Men’s Mental Health?

Most men seeking therapy aren't dealing with issues that are exclusive to their gender. However, they still need a therapist who can empathize with how men uniquely experience these issues. As the therapist mentioned earlier illustrated, psychotherapy for men is often misunderstood as solely addressing "men's issues." The term "men's issues" typically conjures thoughts of erectile dysfunction or low testosterone. While therapy can help with these (and you should see your doctor, as well), these aren’t what most men are seeking help for in therapy. They’re looking for guidance on issues that are a bit more gender-neutral, such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and relationship difficulties.

However, men often need a therapist who can understand how they experience these issues differently due to societal expectations, emotional processing, and their worldview.

Can Therapists Empathize with Men?

Society often treats men differently from women, and this disparity can affect the empathy men receive from therapists. Research has shown that both men and women tend to feel less empathy for men (Rudman & Goodwin, 2004), and this bias inevitably seeps into the therapeutic realm. Many men, consciously or subconsciously, are aware of this and fear that they might struggle to find a therapist who can empathize with them rather than judge them.

Online discussions frequently reveal that many men perceive the therapy world as viewing them more as oppressors than as individuals with struggles. They worry that therapists might approach conflicts, such as those about household chores or emotional expression, solely from a woman's perspective. Men also fear that therapists might not fully understand how they experience challenges at work or in relationships differently than women do.

This fear is a significant barrier to therapy, preventing men from even reaching out. Therefore, for therapy to be effective, therapists must proactively communicate that they are prepared to meet men where they are. For therapists in private practice, this communication begins with their marketing.

Therapy Starts with Marketing

A man's journey to find a therapist often starts with encouragement from a woman in his life, but his fears about being open with a therapist may have been building up for years. That’s why it's crucial for therapists to begin addressing these fears from their very first interaction with potential clients—often through their online presence.

If a therapist’s online content suggest a deep understanding of men’s challenges, it can ease these fears and encourage men to take the first step. It also helps lay the groundwork for more effective therapy later on.

Communicating an understanding of men’s concerns, language, and experiences is essential. When men feel seen and heard, they are more likely to commit to therapy, leading to better outcomes. This isn’t just about attracting clients; it’s about creating the foundation for a successful therapeutic relationship.

Who Can Provide Effective Therapy for Men?

Once a man decides to pursue therapy, the next step is for therapists to deliver on the promises made in their marketing by providing therapy that resonates with men.

First, a good therapist for men has to be a good therapist. They need to be well-trained and respectful of individuals’ different goals and values. They also have to be flexible—no two men are identical in what they need, even if their difficulties are similar.

Beyond that, to be a therapist who can appreciate and understand men’s struggles, one must be able to relate to male perspectives. And not all therapists can do this. In fact, not all male therapists can do this.

A Therapist Who’s Experienced Life

The worst-case scenario for a therapist working with men is one who’s bought into society’s stereotypes about men and lacks the life experience to understand the struggles men face.

Men often develop the ability to understand what other men are going through by having faced similar challenges themselves. Life experiences such as divorce, parenting, addiction, or financial hardship often shape a man’s understanding of what it means to be a man, influencing how they approach relationships, work, and personal growth. Therapists who have navigated similar challenges may find it easier to relate to their male clients and offer more relevant support. However, therapists without these experiences must still strive to understand and appreciate the impact of these struggles on men’s mental health.

A Therapist Who’s Aware of Anti-male Biases

One of the biggest barriers to men seeking therapy is the fear of encountering anti-male bias. Many men are concerned that therapists might not understand or respect their experiences and may instead reinforce harmful stereotypes, such as the notion that men are emotionally disconnected, overly aggressive, or incapable of vulnerability.

Stereotypes like these are often inaccurate and overly simplistic. For instance, while some men may struggle with verbalizing emotions, this doesn’t mean they are emotionally disconnected. They may simply express their emotions in ways that are less familiar to women. Therapists must look beyond these stereotypes to understand the individual experiences of their male clients, recognizing the various factors that influence their personalities and well-being.

Signaling Empathy and Tailoring Therapy

Can therapy work for men? The answer depends on whether therapists can show men that they understand—or are genuinely interested in understanding—their unique experiences. This means signaling that therapy will be delivered in a way that aligns with men’s communication styles and concerns. Since men and women can sometimes benefit most from different approaches, it’s crucial for men to trust that their therapist recognizes and respects these differences.

Therapists must approach male clients with the understanding that there is nothing inherently wrong with how men communicate, experience emotions, and interact with others. How can therapists demonstrate to men—beyond just telling them—that they are interested in who they are as individuals? How can therapists show men that they can listen without judgment?

When men feel understood, they’re more likely to open up and engage fully in therapy, leading to better outcomes.

References

Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201-2209.

Rudman, L. A., & Goodwin, S. A. (2004). Gender differences in automatic in-group bias: Why do women like women more than men like men? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87(4), 494-509.

Michael Giles LCSW is a psychotherapist who specializes in helping men overcoming anxiety, heal from trauma, and repair their relationships.

Click here to schedule a consultation.

Click here to read about his book, Relationship Repair for Men: Counterintuitive behaviors that restore love to struggling relationships.

Psychotherapy for Men: Accessibility and effectiveness